August 25, 2013
We had a meeting with our RE a couple of weeks ago to try and figure out why the FET failed. He said everything looked good and I actually did have traces of HCG in my blood so he thinks I was pregnant for a bit but it didn't stick. There was no real explanation as to why it didn't work though. I was kind of excited that I was a little bit pregnant even if it was just for a short time!
Interesting thing is that I never broke down or cried of grieved over the failed cycle. I completely expected to feel horrible the weekend after we received the news, but I didn't. I knew that I could either sit around and feel sorry for myself or just keep moving on with my life and stay positive. So my husband and I stayed positive and went about our usual business and many great things happened after that!
My grandma offered to pay for the next IVF and my husbands family offered to pay for the third round!! I should also mention that my husband's company is sending us on a free week long trip to Italy the same week as our one year wedding anniversary! Certainly after every storm is a beautiful rainbow and we were lucky enough to see the rainbow and find the gold too!
Not sure how all of these miracles have come our way, but we are completely grateful and appreciative of every single thing. We are on a month break before starting IVF#2, as we will be in Italy during egg retrieval if we started this month. I am scheduled to start birth control pills on September 6th and prepare for the stimulation phase again, then egg retrieval, fertilization, freeze and embryo transfer slated to happen in November.
The RE is changing up my medication protocol slightly, he is hoping to get 10 eggs out of me this time. I already have the med schedule and it is actually A LOT less than last cycle, thank goodness! One less shot and several less oral medications. After the failed FET I ended up with horrible rashes from the progesterone shots, so I am guessing we will have to change that medication up as well.
So here we are again, waiting for the next round to begin and as excited as the first round, but less nervous because I know what to expect this time. Infertility seems to be an endless waiting game that has certainly tested my patience. Having a baby at the end will be all worth it though.
What's Next?
August 3, 2013
After the frozen embryo transfer, I spent many hours being lazy. Now being lazy for me is stressful! I kept feeling guilty for lying around the house, which was not helping the fact that I was supposed to be relaxing and having no stress. I don't recall just lying around the house this much since I was 16 years old!!
I practiced meditation, focused on a positive outcome, envisioned our little embryos implanting into my uterus, telling the embryos that I loved them, avoided caffeine and alcohol, did not work out at all, didn't even take our dog for a walk of any sort and drank as much water as possible. My husband got up early with me every morning to give me my intramuscular shots and the horrible Lovenox shots (the most painful sub-q shots I have had to take so far, the burn was torture and the bruises last for days). While I heated the area from the progesterone shots to break up the oil, I had to ice another area from the Lovenox burn. But while I was feeling the pain of the shots I kept envisioning us having little babies and somehow that got me through the morning shot routine.
As the beta test day got closer I started worrying, because I felt nothing. I did lots of research to see what day the embryos should have implanted and what day my body should start producing hcg hormones so that I can take a home pregnancy test (HPT). It seemed as most women were getting positive results at 7 days past transfer. Well I waited until 8 days past and got a Big Fat Negative (BFN). Slightly depressed I kept telling myself I still had two days before the beta test and maybe the embryos just implanted late. I kept thinking positively and hoping that we were pregnant, I mean I could not fathom what we would do if this didn't work. So the morning of beta (10 days past beta) I took an early response HPT and once again got a BFN. That was it, I knew it didn't work. I certainly know what it feels like NOT to be pregnant and that is exactly how I felt, not pregnant. Some people discouraged me from testing at home, but honestly there is no way that I could have some nurse over the phone tell me my destiny. I had to prepare myself.
8:00 AM on Friday morning I went in to get my blood drawn. I told my IVF nurse that I took a HPT and it was negative and I am pretty sure I am not pregnant. She told me about how many women come in and think they are not, but they show positive on the blood test. That gave me a bit of hope, which I wish they would not do! I made an appointment with the RE for the next week anyway, just being proactive. I always am trying to prepare for what's next.
About 2:00pm on Friday, I got the call while I was at work. I have a theory that they call the positive results people earlier in the day and save the BFN's for later. So once 12:00pm passed, I knew I was in the negative category. My IVF nurse sounded sad, so I knew before she said anything. After four failed IUI's (artificial insemination) and four calls from nurses telling me I'm not pregnant, I can now tell by the sound of their voice.
"Sorry Elizabeth, you are not pregnant. You can stop taking your medications. I see that you already made an appointment with the doctor, so we will see you then. Are you okay?" I remained calm and simply said, "Yes I understand, thank you." The end.
I had to go back to my desk and pretend like my entire world did not just shatter beneath me. I let our family and friends know the results and kept working. I got teary-eyed a few times as I deleted baby photos from my phone and my desktop computer. I tried to look at pictures of babies during the process in hopes that it would make my body understand what we were working towards. Obviously my body wasn't paying attention.
Do we know why it didn't work? No. Are we now looking into adoption? Not yet. Are we okay? Sort of.
For short moments I think "we did all of that for nothing", "why doesn't God want us to have a baby?", "what did I do wrong to deserve this?", "why does everyone else get to experience having a baby, but me?, "how can I go on?" I do not let these thoughts stay long and I try to counteract them with positive thoughts and thankful thoughts of what I am blessed with. Our friends and family have been nothing but amazing and supportive during this journey and for that I am thankful. I just tell people that this is unfortunately the cards we were dealt.
So what's next? I have no idea! We meet with the doctor next Friday, where he will tell us what he thinks happened. Hopefully he will give us hope that there is still something we can do to get pregnant. My husband and I have not given up hope that we will get pregnant! So please don't give up hope for us.
After the frozen embryo transfer, I spent many hours being lazy. Now being lazy for me is stressful! I kept feeling guilty for lying around the house, which was not helping the fact that I was supposed to be relaxing and having no stress. I don't recall just lying around the house this much since I was 16 years old!!
I practiced meditation, focused on a positive outcome, envisioned our little embryos implanting into my uterus, telling the embryos that I loved them, avoided caffeine and alcohol, did not work out at all, didn't even take our dog for a walk of any sort and drank as much water as possible. My husband got up early with me every morning to give me my intramuscular shots and the horrible Lovenox shots (the most painful sub-q shots I have had to take so far, the burn was torture and the bruises last for days). While I heated the area from the progesterone shots to break up the oil, I had to ice another area from the Lovenox burn. But while I was feeling the pain of the shots I kept envisioning us having little babies and somehow that got me through the morning shot routine.
As the beta test day got closer I started worrying, because I felt nothing. I did lots of research to see what day the embryos should have implanted and what day my body should start producing hcg hormones so that I can take a home pregnancy test (HPT). It seemed as most women were getting positive results at 7 days past transfer. Well I waited until 8 days past and got a Big Fat Negative (BFN). Slightly depressed I kept telling myself I still had two days before the beta test and maybe the embryos just implanted late. I kept thinking positively and hoping that we were pregnant, I mean I could not fathom what we would do if this didn't work. So the morning of beta (10 days past beta) I took an early response HPT and once again got a BFN. That was it, I knew it didn't work. I certainly know what it feels like NOT to be pregnant and that is exactly how I felt, not pregnant. Some people discouraged me from testing at home, but honestly there is no way that I could have some nurse over the phone tell me my destiny. I had to prepare myself.
8:00 AM on Friday morning I went in to get my blood drawn. I told my IVF nurse that I took a HPT and it was negative and I am pretty sure I am not pregnant. She told me about how many women come in and think they are not, but they show positive on the blood test. That gave me a bit of hope, which I wish they would not do! I made an appointment with the RE for the next week anyway, just being proactive. I always am trying to prepare for what's next.
About 2:00pm on Friday, I got the call while I was at work. I have a theory that they call the positive results people earlier in the day and save the BFN's for later. So once 12:00pm passed, I knew I was in the negative category. My IVF nurse sounded sad, so I knew before she said anything. After four failed IUI's (artificial insemination) and four calls from nurses telling me I'm not pregnant, I can now tell by the sound of their voice.
"Sorry Elizabeth, you are not pregnant. You can stop taking your medications. I see that you already made an appointment with the doctor, so we will see you then. Are you okay?" I remained calm and simply said, "Yes I understand, thank you." The end.
I had to go back to my desk and pretend like my entire world did not just shatter beneath me. I let our family and friends know the results and kept working. I got teary-eyed a few times as I deleted baby photos from my phone and my desktop computer. I tried to look at pictures of babies during the process in hopes that it would make my body understand what we were working towards. Obviously my body wasn't paying attention.
Do we know why it didn't work? No. Are we now looking into adoption? Not yet. Are we okay? Sort of.
For short moments I think "we did all of that for nothing", "why doesn't God want us to have a baby?", "what did I do wrong to deserve this?", "why does everyone else get to experience having a baby, but me?, "how can I go on?" I do not let these thoughts stay long and I try to counteract them with positive thoughts and thankful thoughts of what I am blessed with. Our friends and family have been nothing but amazing and supportive during this journey and for that I am thankful. I just tell people that this is unfortunately the cards we were dealt.
So what's next? I have no idea! We meet with the doctor next Friday, where he will tell us what he thinks happened. Hopefully he will give us hope that there is still something we can do to get pregnant. My husband and I have not given up hope that we will get pregnant! So please don't give up hope for us.
Embryo Transfer Complete
July 24, 2013
There has been quite a lot of build up for this day and I must say that I didn't handle it that well! I am generally a stressed out person anyway, when others find no reason to stress, I will find 50 reasons. So this whole process has put my stress levels to the test! I haven't slept in five nights and I am hoping my insomnia doesn't affect our chances. Oh and the on and off crying has continued, as I try to stay positive while at the same time balance the risk of this not working. A horribly careful balance that I have not conquered.
The embryo transfer procedure took place yesterday (Tuesday, July 23). We arrived at 10:30 am for acupuncture, as there have been a lot of great studies about the benefits of acupuncture directly before and after embryo transfer. I was on such high alert that the acupuncture needles actually hurt a lot and she said I was "sensitive". Of course I am sensitive, my entire life and our dreams of having a family is riding on this one day! Okay a little bit dramatic I know! After calming my mind with acupuncture I went directly to the surgery center.
Did I mention that you have to have a completely full bladder for embryo transfer? So while I was getting into the hospital gown, putting on a hair net and paper shoes, all I wanted to do was take a seat on the toilet and let out the urine I had been holding in for an hour!! The embryologist came in first and gave us the good news that BOTH our embryos had survived the thaw (One is a 4-day morula and one is a 5-day early blastocyst). I cheered every so slightly as not to disturb my full bladder with too much motion. The nurses put my legs in the straps and the the doctor (reproductive endocrinologist RE) came in and told us what was about to happen. As one nurse pushed on my belly to get a good ultrasound view (that is what guides the RE to put the embryos in the right spot) the RE put the catheter in to try and get the best placement for the embryos. Because of my severely tilted uterus, he was not successful for the test run and had to put another metal device in me and straighten some things out. This was quite painful! The pinching feeling mixed with the need to urinate, was really uncomfortable! But I kept staring at the screen waiting to see the embryos go in so that I could find joy in this procedure!
Soon there they were, two little white things, our embryos made their first appearance and it was a magical moment. The RE got them in the perfect spot and he was quite pleased with the location and then told us our new statistics based on the procedure. He said that we have a 60% chance of getting pregnant and a 35% chance of having twins. Here is the first photo of our embryos:
There has been quite a lot of build up for this day and I must say that I didn't handle it that well! I am generally a stressed out person anyway, when others find no reason to stress, I will find 50 reasons. So this whole process has put my stress levels to the test! I haven't slept in five nights and I am hoping my insomnia doesn't affect our chances. Oh and the on and off crying has continued, as I try to stay positive while at the same time balance the risk of this not working. A horribly careful balance that I have not conquered.
The embryo transfer procedure took place yesterday (Tuesday, July 23). We arrived at 10:30 am for acupuncture, as there have been a lot of great studies about the benefits of acupuncture directly before and after embryo transfer. I was on such high alert that the acupuncture needles actually hurt a lot and she said I was "sensitive". Of course I am sensitive, my entire life and our dreams of having a family is riding on this one day! Okay a little bit dramatic I know! After calming my mind with acupuncture I went directly to the surgery center.
Did I mention that you have to have a completely full bladder for embryo transfer? So while I was getting into the hospital gown, putting on a hair net and paper shoes, all I wanted to do was take a seat on the toilet and let out the urine I had been holding in for an hour!! The embryologist came in first and gave us the good news that BOTH our embryos had survived the thaw (One is a 4-day morula and one is a 5-day early blastocyst). I cheered every so slightly as not to disturb my full bladder with too much motion. The nurses put my legs in the straps and the the doctor (reproductive endocrinologist RE) came in and told us what was about to happen. As one nurse pushed on my belly to get a good ultrasound view (that is what guides the RE to put the embryos in the right spot) the RE put the catheter in to try and get the best placement for the embryos. Because of my severely tilted uterus, he was not successful for the test run and had to put another metal device in me and straighten some things out. This was quite painful! The pinching feeling mixed with the need to urinate, was really uncomfortable! But I kept staring at the screen waiting to see the embryos go in so that I could find joy in this procedure!
Soon there they were, two little white things, our embryos made their first appearance and it was a magical moment. The RE got them in the perfect spot and he was quite pleased with the location and then told us our new statistics based on the procedure. He said that we have a 60% chance of getting pregnant and a 35% chance of having twins. Here is the first photo of our embryos:
So once again we wait! August 2 I will go in for a beta test to check for hcg levels. For now I am on "couch rest" for 48 hours and then I took the rest of the week off from work to try and relax. Of course that is almost impossible for me. My wonderful husband has taken 2 days off of work to cook for me, bring me things and take care of me, as I am just supposed to sit around and only get up to use the restroom. Not a bad gig and I am enjoying it while I can!
In the meantime my husband gives me the progesterone intramuscular shots every morning and now the Lovenox shots. The progesterone shots are a hassle, as you have to heat the injection area afterwards and massage and walk around so that you don't get hard lumps and clumps and muscle pain. The muscle pain can be horrible as your tissue tries to recover you shoot into it again the next day, I've got some tricks I learned from the internet that help! The Lovenox shot burns like crazy immediately afterwards. But what I have learned is that I can handle almost any type of pain that comes my way! Bring it on!
As we wait I try to focus on the embryos implanting and growing, I talk to them and I am saying positive affirmations daily. Not sure what else to do at this point, what is going to happen will happen.
FET is almost here
July 2, 2013
We are now three weeks away from FET - July 23rd!! I cannot explain how excited we are to have our little embryos back! Of course this joy and excitement is buffered with the medication schedule below that is really scary.
Back to a couple shots a day plus lots of estrogen, progesterone and some steroids thrown into the mix, nothing I can't handle. At this point the RE is preparing my body for embryo transfer, shutting down the ovaries and building up my lining.
I should mention I have gained 10 pounds during the FET process. Coming from someone that used to freak out if I gained 1 pound, this has been a struggle for me. Having worked out since I was 16 years old, the inability to do the types of work outs that my body is accustomed to has resulted in some lovely bumps and lumps that I have never seen before! Just another side effect of this trying to conceive journey. To mentally get past the weight gain, I have to keep the bigger picture and our goal in mind. After all once we get pregnant the weight will just keep coming and I will be so happy for it!
I am overcome with pregnancies and babies surrounding me (friends, co-workers, family members), so hopefully it is a sign of things to come. I have fallen into some pretty strange old wives tales, thinking that "why not". Things like just being around other pregnant women will make your body think it is supposed to become pregnant. Looking at pictures of pregnant women and little babies will also help my mind understand what I am trying to do! YES - I know, strange, crazy, outlandish...but for me I am trying everything...just in case. For a period of time I even slept with a new package of baby diapers under my bed! Oh and I tried baby bibs under the pillow too!
We are patiently counting down the days, keeping hopeful thoughts in our minds and eagerly anticipating the day when our two little embryos will be back home. Until then I will keep up with the old wives tales, you just never know what little miracle will do the trick.
We are now three weeks away from FET - July 23rd!! I cannot explain how excited we are to have our little embryos back! Of course this joy and excitement is buffered with the medication schedule below that is really scary.
Back to a couple shots a day plus lots of estrogen, progesterone and some steroids thrown into the mix, nothing I can't handle. At this point the RE is preparing my body for embryo transfer, shutting down the ovaries and building up my lining.
I should mention I have gained 10 pounds during the FET process. Coming from someone that used to freak out if I gained 1 pound, this has been a struggle for me. Having worked out since I was 16 years old, the inability to do the types of work outs that my body is accustomed to has resulted in some lovely bumps and lumps that I have never seen before! Just another side effect of this trying to conceive journey. To mentally get past the weight gain, I have to keep the bigger picture and our goal in mind. After all once we get pregnant the weight will just keep coming and I will be so happy for it!
I am overcome with pregnancies and babies surrounding me (friends, co-workers, family members), so hopefully it is a sign of things to come. I have fallen into some pretty strange old wives tales, thinking that "why not". Things like just being around other pregnant women will make your body think it is supposed to become pregnant. Looking at pictures of pregnant women and little babies will also help my mind understand what I am trying to do! YES - I know, strange, crazy, outlandish...but for me I am trying everything...just in case. For a period of time I even slept with a new package of baby diapers under my bed! Oh and I tried baby bibs under the pillow too!
We are patiently counting down the days, keeping hopeful thoughts in our minds and eagerly anticipating the day when our two little embryos will be back home. Until then I will keep up with the old wives tales, you just never know what little miracle will do the trick.
Egg Retrieval
June 7, 2013
I had egg retrieval yesterday (June 6) morning and woke up today at 2am with the most excruciating pain I have ever felt! I felt like my insides were rupturing. All of a sudden I was drenched in cold sweats and ready to vomit. I grabbed my pillow and sat on the bathroom floor waiting for the inevitable.
Let me rewind a bit! My husband and I were at the surgery office yesterday at 6:45am excited to see how many good eggs we were about to retrieve. I don't get nervous for these outpatient procedures anymore, as I feel like a pro now. The first nurse that tried to insert the needle for the IV into my left hand, missed the vein and all I could feel was the needle dragging under my skin as she pushed harder and harder. After that I freaked out and started crying! At first I was crying from the pain, then I was crying from a deeper place not even sure I can comprehend what exactly I was crying about. The anesthesiologist ended up making the second IV attempt, this time in my right hand, no pain! The rest is a blur, I vaguely remember the doctor telling me that they retrieved six eggs, five of which looked good! We will know more this week once the eggs begin to fertilize.
So for now I sit on my bathroom floor at 3am trying to get comfortable and researching "post egg retrieval pain", slowly realizing that this is no joke and the pain can last up to five days and can be dangerous if certain symptoms arise. Nobody at the surgery today warned me about this or maybe they did and I was too drugged up to remember! Thank goodness for the internet! I caved in and took a Percocet, even though I dread taking pain meds, it seems to be cutting some of the extreme pain down to moderate pain. Through my internet research I learned to AVOID lying on my back (prop myself up instead), to drink Gatorade and to use a heating pad on my stomach and back. The reason for the pain is that during retrieval, they pull out the eggs from the follicles leaving behind poked through ovaries and the follicles that housed the eggs then become filled with fluid. Until that resolves you will be in pain.
I would like to thank all of the women that post their experiences online to help women like me who have only a fraction of a clue about what this IVF adventure entails!
I had egg retrieval yesterday (June 6) morning and woke up today at 2am with the most excruciating pain I have ever felt! I felt like my insides were rupturing. All of a sudden I was drenched in cold sweats and ready to vomit. I grabbed my pillow and sat on the bathroom floor waiting for the inevitable.
Let me rewind a bit! My husband and I were at the surgery office yesterday at 6:45am excited to see how many good eggs we were about to retrieve. I don't get nervous for these outpatient procedures anymore, as I feel like a pro now. The first nurse that tried to insert the needle for the IV into my left hand, missed the vein and all I could feel was the needle dragging under my skin as she pushed harder and harder. After that I freaked out and started crying! At first I was crying from the pain, then I was crying from a deeper place not even sure I can comprehend what exactly I was crying about. The anesthesiologist ended up making the second IV attempt, this time in my right hand, no pain! The rest is a blur, I vaguely remember the doctor telling me that they retrieved six eggs, five of which looked good! We will know more this week once the eggs begin to fertilize.
So for now I sit on my bathroom floor at 3am trying to get comfortable and researching "post egg retrieval pain", slowly realizing that this is no joke and the pain can last up to five days and can be dangerous if certain symptoms arise. Nobody at the surgery today warned me about this or maybe they did and I was too drugged up to remember! Thank goodness for the internet! I caved in and took a Percocet, even though I dread taking pain meds, it seems to be cutting some of the extreme pain down to moderate pain. Through my internet research I learned to AVOID lying on my back (prop myself up instead), to drink Gatorade and to use a heating pad on my stomach and back. The reason for the pain is that during retrieval, they pull out the eggs from the follicles leaving behind poked through ovaries and the follicles that housed the eggs then become filled with fluid. Until that resolves you will be in pain.
I would like to thank all of the women that post their experiences online to help women like me who have only a fraction of a clue about what this IVF adventure entails!
Day 12 Stim Update
June 4, 2013
I have been doing four injections a day for 12 days now and going in for ultrasounds and blood work almost every day. I look like a drug addict with track marks in my arms from all of the blood work draws. To top it off my stomach looks like a nice punching bag full of bruises and red marks. I am not going to lie and say that Phase II is what I expected, because it certainly is not. From the injection freak outs to the extreme fatigue, the past couple of weeks have been a bit rough for me. Don't get me wrong some days were a cake walk and others were a nightmare, so the good days definitely got me through the bad ones.
The good news...today we received the word that we are ready for egg retrieval!! I have six follicles in sizes ranging from 12-24 mm's, a good amount considering I have diminished ovarian reserve. Tonight I triggered with HCG shot and took another injection of Gonal-F and antibiotics to prepare for the surgery. Tomorrow is my last injection! Well until the progesterone intramuscular shots come into play, but let's not think about please! The very thought of the needle increasing by three times the size is enough to make me pass out.
Thursday (June 6, 2013) morning at 6:45am my husband and I go in for the retrieval. Later that day we will know how many "good" eggs they were able to retrieve. Then each day after that we will receive a call telling us how the embryos are doing. Hopefully they make it to 5-6 days become high quality blastocysts and we can freeze them all! Then we will wait for the frozen egg transfer next month.
Through this process I have learned that I am stronger than I think. If you would have asked me two years ago if I would be able to inject myself with a variety of hormones over 50 times in two weeks, I would have probably laughed at you and then kicked you! The strength that I've gained from this unfortunate circumstance is something that I am still trying to comprehend. Some mornings when I stand at the counter trying to push the needles into my stomach and I just can't find a good spot, I have to walk away for a second, shake it off and remember what I am doing this for. You never know what you are capable of until you are in a situation where you have no choice but to be strong. For this I am grateful.
I have been doing four injections a day for 12 days now and going in for ultrasounds and blood work almost every day. I look like a drug addict with track marks in my arms from all of the blood work draws. To top it off my stomach looks like a nice punching bag full of bruises and red marks. I am not going to lie and say that Phase II is what I expected, because it certainly is not. From the injection freak outs to the extreme fatigue, the past couple of weeks have been a bit rough for me. Don't get me wrong some days were a cake walk and others were a nightmare, so the good days definitely got me through the bad ones.
The good news...today we received the word that we are ready for egg retrieval!! I have six follicles in sizes ranging from 12-24 mm's, a good amount considering I have diminished ovarian reserve. Tonight I triggered with HCG shot and took another injection of Gonal-F and antibiotics to prepare for the surgery. Tomorrow is my last injection! Well until the progesterone intramuscular shots come into play, but let's not think about please! The very thought of the needle increasing by three times the size is enough to make me pass out.
Thursday (June 6, 2013) morning at 6:45am my husband and I go in for the retrieval. Later that day we will know how many "good" eggs they were able to retrieve. Then each day after that we will receive a call telling us how the embryos are doing. Hopefully they make it to 5-6 days become high quality blastocysts and we can freeze them all! Then we will wait for the frozen egg transfer next month.
Through this process I have learned that I am stronger than I think. If you would have asked me two years ago if I would be able to inject myself with a variety of hormones over 50 times in two weeks, I would have probably laughed at you and then kicked you! The strength that I've gained from this unfortunate circumstance is something that I am still trying to comprehend. Some mornings when I stand at the counter trying to push the needles into my stomach and I just can't find a good spot, I have to walk away for a second, shake it off and remember what I am doing this for. You never know what you are capable of until you are in a situation where you have no choice but to be strong. For this I am grateful.
The Injections
May 24, 2013
Phase II has officially begun and in full force!
I now begin every morning with four types of injections lined up on the counter, reviewing my list over and over again making sure I haven't forgotten something. As I push each needle into my belly and release the medicine I try to envision the follicles growing, but inevitably I end up holding my breathe and getting dizzy. Afterwords I review my war wounds, sometimes I hit a vein, sometimes I get a bruise and most of the time it welts up a little and then subsides within an hour. I am starting to get anxiety in the morning as I run out of injection spots. My stomach has developed hard spots from all the injections.
Added to the injections I take oral medications morning and evening and just hope that I can handle any side effects that come my way. Emotional effects are by far the worst.Yesterday I cried looking at two little babies on the airplane. I can't explain why, but sometimes just looking at cute babies is enough to send me into a brief emotional tail spin. The hard part is wondering if we will be so lucky to experience the joy of holding our own baby and taking her/him on an airplane. The little things.
We are in the stim phase for up to 2.5 weeks. I will get an ultrasound and blood work every couple of days for monitoring to make sure everything is going smoothly. If all works out, we will be able to have the eggs extracted in a couple of weeks!! We are very excited about every phase of this process and getting closer to the day when we can say "We are Pregnant!"
We want to extend a special thank you to our friends and families that are supporting us through this emotional roller coaster. We kept it a secret for awhile and only recently let people know about our IVF journey and are very thankful that we did! There is no better feeling than having support from the ones that you love. For this we are truly blessed.
So far in this journey we have learned to be patient, thoughtful and most importantly hopeful. Life gains a whole new perspective when you are fighting for something so important that your mind, body and finances don't matter anymore. All that matters is the end. The end is worth fighting for.
Phase II has officially begun and in full force!
Added to the injections I take oral medications morning and evening and just hope that I can handle any side effects that come my way. Emotional effects are by far the worst.Yesterday I cried looking at two little babies on the airplane. I can't explain why, but sometimes just looking at cute babies is enough to send me into a brief emotional tail spin. The hard part is wondering if we will be so lucky to experience the joy of holding our own baby and taking her/him on an airplane. The little things.
We are in the stim phase for up to 2.5 weeks. I will get an ultrasound and blood work every couple of days for monitoring to make sure everything is going smoothly. If all works out, we will be able to have the eggs extracted in a couple of weeks!! We are very excited about every phase of this process and getting closer to the day when we can say "We are Pregnant!"
We want to extend a special thank you to our friends and families that are supporting us through this emotional roller coaster. We kept it a secret for awhile and only recently let people know about our IVF journey and are very thankful that we did! There is no better feeling than having support from the ones that you love. For this we are truly blessed.
So far in this journey we have learned to be patient, thoughtful and most importantly hopeful. Life gains a whole new perspective when you are fighting for something so important that your mind, body and finances don't matter anymore. All that matters is the end. The end is worth fighting for.
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